In The Beginning

During one of my afternoon power naps, I dreamt an unearthly, ugly creature - let's call it a demon - was sodomising me. I fought it and managed to escape its clutches but it soon caught up with me to continue where it left of. I woke up, angrier with myself than anything else.


It made me start thinking though. What is it that I have done to deserve such an experience - albeit in a dream? Maybe I had wronged the demon somewhat.

The following morning, the dream still bunged me.

I began recollecting my dreams that involved demonic themes. And they are plenty. It then occurred to me that maybe my guardian angel is female and was once a she-demon married to the he-demon that terrorised me the previous afternoon. They must have had fallen out because of me. I surmised that before she became my guardian angel she had possibly been my lover precisely because I used to have nightmares about a controlling female demon that had possessed me. Now that she is apart from him, she became benevolent to me and protected me from him. God was aware of all this of course. He found favour in her and thus she was allowed to become my guardian angel. But the he-demon never forgave her and continued to torment her through me.

I sensed that – had a revelation that - God does not currently directly interfere in the demon world just as he does not currently directly interfere in human affairs. [We have to ask God to interfere otherwise He more or less leaves us to our own limited devices].

The he-demon continues to terrorise me but cannot fully destroy me because my guardian angel, backed by God, cannot allow that. And my guardian angel who wants the best for me cannot fully achieve her dreams because the he-demon keeps obstructing.

Of course the fight, the tug-of-war, is bigger than me. I am just a pawn. I am the canvas on which the spirits are waging a vicious war. I am the grass that suffers.

I know all this sounds goby-do-gook but that was my thought process the morning after that dream.

However you state your case, the spiritual war is a stalemate that has left many lives, certainly mine in limbo. I am neither a high-achiever nor am I an under-achiever. Many times I have come to the brink of collapse only to found rescue. Other times I have close to making a break through only to stall and fall.

I am beginning to think that lately the he-demon seems to have had an upper hand. It is not that my guardian angle has abandoned. Far from it.

See, my working life is progressing quite nicely, thank you, but my home, business and social life is going taking some hard knocks right now.

I cannot seem to get my ass to kick start a great business project that would catapult me into a high-achiever.

I also can’t get to conclude one way or another whether predictive geometry can work. I'm actually so close to a break through it seems someone is determined not to allow me to make it.

I do not seem to have the wherewithal to escape the mundane of home life to socialize with my friends.

Since my home life is not solely controlled by me, I have put it on the back-burner; so too my social life. But my business life I really want it back if only because it will break the current mould of my home and social life.

Still, I seem to have the time to write this nonsense. Therapeutic you might say but it is not putting bread on the table right now as I write this.